uninvited

I didn’t think he would pick up the phone! A mix of feelings raced through my system. I was relieved, excited and nervous. Previously he rejected my calls twice. I thought I might as well give it a last try, to lend a ritualistic feel to the whole thing and take it as a sign to curb my longings for his presence if he decides to reject the call a third time. I never expected him to actually take this call!

His first hello echoed through my rump. It’s amazing how much he changed (to think that it was only a day after he sent that message). His voice was cold and unfamiliar. I realized he had stopped calling me by the nick he gave me. My heart slumped.

Dumbfounded, I didn’t have the slightest recollection of what I said there. But I know it was a brief, polite exchange. I hung up quickly; I was welling up with emotions and I wouldn’t forgive myself if I had lost control over myself then. It’s not that I am proud; God knows his mere presence strips me naked of all forms of childish pride. But I am afraid of his reaction, of a possible wrath and of a definite sadness.

I told him to take care. His answer was short: Yeah.

(Stupid girl. Just tell him how much you miss him. Tell him to come back.)

Another cigarette please, this is strike two.