Silent Sigh

The new year banged on the door and it let itself into the house. Just like that. I was still floating in a dream-like state after the 2-week frenzy in Bali, when the December storm flung me against the wall. The noise around me drowned by scream for help and I slowly suffocated in my own tears.


I am torn.

And his calls came. And his voice softly spoke. And his letter came.

And I am a wreck.



= = =

You've Got Mail, heck, every Meg Ryan romantic comedy flick deals with serendipities, how a peculiar chain of events eventually brings two people together in a unity dubbbed "true love". A friend of mine recently passed a question posed by someone's else's wife in an sms sent at the crack of dawn during the turbulent days in Bali "Am I your soulmate or your true love?". Is there an answer to such a question? Can you define what you feel for others? It may be possible to define relationships. I know whom I call my parents, and I know whom I would call my husband. These relationships are defined by the law, so they are pretty clear. But what do I feel for you? What does the future hold for us? What will happen in this new year?


I don't have the answers at hand and I don't know if I ever will.

This year, I only wish for both of us to be happy. With or without each other.

I do care about you. It breaks my heart to act as if I don't.